... Except To Laugh Later.
(not evil mocking villainous kind, more like an oh-that's-life matter-of-fact honest kind, and definitely NOT 'teehee' giggling kind)
1. Tenacious bombardment of SMSes, eMails, phone calls, messages, gifts. After politely telling them to lay off, to no avail, I knew I had to turn up a few notches and let them have it! Reluctantly, of course.
2. Online stalking, commenting on every tiny little changes I made to my profile. Oh, one went the extra mile of stalking my family and close friends too.
3. The next day after the breakup, 'I understand that we can't be together but let's be best friends forever! Come for dinner tonight and stay over! Please????'
4. Telling their friends about me, in a not-too-flattering light, of course. What's that word? Oh yaaa.... BITCHING. How do I know? Well, it's bloody obvious when their friends shoot me point blank with, 'Oh, so you're THAT guy!', wearing a not-so-subtle disapproving facial expression, followed by an awkward silence (the crickets were on sabbatical and the wind wasn't blowing), ex visibly uncomfortable & desperate for a change of subject or any sort of distraction. That biiiaaatch.
5. A postcard arrived from an ex (who broke up with me via SMS... Ya know, that's how he is remembered, the one who ended it with an SMS... I'm sure he has moved on since then to Facebook, Whatsapp or Twitter to do breakups... gotta keep up with the times!). Anyway, the really strange thing was that it wasn't addressed to ME, but to my FAMILY, thanking them for the hospitality when he came to visit 5 years before.
Huh?????? Whaaa???? I still can't figure that one out.... HUH??????
6. Ex could only remember all the bad memories and always brings them up. Geeeez, it wasn't THAT bad, was it??? I certainly remember the good memories. Especially the ones that make me smile, and of us sharing a good laugh. I think it's sad to refuse cherishing those good moments, which we had lovingly poured in so much effort and tears. Those are GOOD STUFF back there worth holding on to!
7. Disagreeing with EVERYTHING I say, and whatever that goes wrong in my life, is MY fault. Oh gee, thanks for the support and your unbiased views, 'friend'. Please scoot over from the "ex-boyfriend" to the "ex-friend" category.
8. Dishing out death threats and curses, damning me to live the rest of my life miserably, lose my job, never to find another partner in this life, and the next.
YIKES!!!
Moments later, 'I'm sorry I said all those things, I didn't mean to. I was reading this fantasy book and it filled my head with ideas.'
Okaaaaaay, I won't be having any trouble moving on from this one.
9. Cut all ties, burn all bridges, go separate ways, the end. Fair enough, fine by me, some people are wired that way. I always get a mental snail-paced looping slideshow of their grumpy faces whenever my iPod plays that John Mayer song 'Friends, Lovers or Nothing.'
